Healing Happens

Impact Story For Codependence & Fantasy Thinking

Overcoming Codependency & Fantasy Thinking

Kevin's Story

Kevin was already on his journey of codependence recovery when he started coaching with Heidi. He had broken through the denial about his codependence and discovered how his childhood was at the root of it. But Kevin felt ‘stuck,’ and looking for a way to fast-track his progress, he was introduced to Heidi. Immediately Kevin began to understand that how he had operated his whole life successfully, professionally and personally, was both his biggest ally and greatest enemy. He learned that his unhealed shame was behind his driven, goal-setting, results-oriented, successful personality, which also caused his cycles of obsession, procrastination, perfectionism, anxiety, self-doubt, and hopelessness. Their work together revealed the following:

Unhealed childhood trauma, shame, and trust issues
Abandonment and self-esteem wounds
Using fantasy and obsession to manage (shut down) feelings
Chronic people-pleasing, caretaking, and workaholism
Hopelessness with a core belief there’s something wrong with me

Arresting
Obsessive
Thinking

Our Healing Journey

Heidi, "Kevin had to arrest his very effective (and yet, not so much) patterns of managing shame that were sabotaging him. He confronted his mind's default to avoid his feelings (fear, sadness, loneliness, shame, etc.), obsess, and create fantasies about success, plans, perfectionism, or fixing others, a pattern that went back to his childhood. As he was able to identify the errors in his thinking patterns, he revealed and cared for the underlying pain, shame, and fear that had been covertly driving his life. We worked together to get through the 'dopamine gap' from fantasy withdrawal while on the way to restoring his brain's ability to live in the present with sustainable happiness and well-being."

In Kevin's words:: "So instead of my mind spinning and me trying to figure everything out and not even recognizing what I'm doing, she's like, "Okay, this is obsessive thinking, and there's one-upping and one-downing, and what happens is your brain's doing that because it's a way to self-abandon. It's a way of getting 'high,' so you're not having to focus on what you're feeling." I'm thinking, oh, that makes sense."

Kevin's
Transformation
Courage & Empowerment

Heidi: Kevin triumphed over fear and shame as he trusted the healing process even though his whole body told him it wasn't safe to sit still and allow the feelings to be there. I truly and personally know the challenge when your real life has felt safe by 'figuring it out' and unknowingly keeping the trauma medicated. It's a big ask, but Kevin's next-level dedication to his emotional health has allowed him to transform his world from performance, stress, and extremes to fulfillment, empowerment, and harmony. He has now tapped into his powerful inner being, which will prove to be so much more successful, sustainable, and rewarding than perfectionism, and workaholism could ever be.

Leading by example:

Kevin continues, "One of the things I love about it, the way she does it that most other people I've worked with don't, is she's willing and open to share her stories and process instead of just trying to pull everything from me. Sharing her same experiences as an example of understanding creates momentum for me that is exactly what I need when I'm stuck. And so she's like a catalyst; how she delivers her coaching serves like a catalyst that launches me instead of just saying, here, I'll help you launch yourself. She is right there with me."

Access behavior change quickly

Kevin states, "Heidi takes principles and helps introduce them in a framework so applicable that I can recognize it more readily when it's happening. That's one of her powers; she makes things much quicker and more easily accessible in the framework. Then we can go into these affirmations of love and I can pull myself out of my mind mind, back into the heart, and body, and here's how to do that."

Healing Spirituality

Kevin: "After working with Heidi, I allow more of God's attributes and powers to flow into my life. Whereas before, I was bound by the framework of my religious upbringing and context, I restricted God because I thought God couldn't show up this way unless I showed up here or there. And so our work together allows God to be more active and empowering in my life."

Kevin:

"To find someone who has a combination of understanding with experience is the ultimate thing I look for. Finding someone who has lived it is pretty rare. A lot of people have experience, and a lot of people have schooling, but when somebody's put the wisdom and experience together and has come out the other side showing the benefits of what they've learned and are loving those things, for me, that's as good as it can get."

Complimentary Coaching Session

Living From the Heart's no-obligation complimentary session starts off with a 30-minute call where we uncover specific goals or challenges that you’re currently facing in your life.

These may include:

Self defeating behaviors
Feeling numb or empty
Unhealthy relationships patterns
A Tough life transition

From here we can collaboratively determine if there's a good fit between us, and the areas where you need support. Just fill out this form and I'll reach out to schedule your complimentary session.

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Heidi Anderson